


Starlight

by Shwtlee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Apprentice Rey, Badass Rey, Ben solo journey to light, Breast Worship, Canon Compliant, Dark Rey, Evil Luke, F/M, Finalizer (Star Wars), First Order, First Time, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Training, Grey Kylo Ren, Kylo Ren Angst, Lightside kylo ren, Loss of Virginity, Memory Alteration, Mental Coercion, Mustafar, Oral Sex, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey (Star Wars), Post TFA, Pregnancy Kink, Pregnant Sex, Rey Kenobi, Rey Palpatine, Rey back story, Rey takes whatever she wants, Self-Harm, Shameless Smut, Suicide Attempt, Training, Unresolved Sexual Tension, You Need A Teacher, Young Rey, balance, boobgate, dark side reylo, darkside fluff?, master kylo ren - Freeform, pregnant reylo, resistance isn't good either, time for jedi to end, virgin reylo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-21
Updated: 2018-03-08
Packaged: 2018-10-22 08:00:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10692906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: “But I asked do you regret it, my love?” Rey whispered against his ears, standing on her tiptoes, breath hot against his skin. She placed a opened mouth kiss on his neck right below his ear as she wrapped her tiny hand around his hard cock.Kylo’s heart was now beating very fast, almost as if it's trying to escape from its cage. Rey’s hand over his chest curled into claws, nails digging in his flesh.Kylo turned his face toward her to look at her face over his shoulder. His eyes darkened as they met her yellow ones, filled with desire, like he would devour her if he could. Rey couldn't blame him, she felt the same, her fist tightened as she started moving it up and down his length, just the right amount of pressure that she knows he likes.“No. I regret nothing,” Kylo managed to breathe out.





	1. Starlight

**Author's Note:**

> So welcome to my Dark Reylo Fic. This is my ongoing tumblr Series that I've decided to post here. It was originally posted back in March.
> 
>  
> 
> [Starlight](http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/post/158048282297/starlight)
> 
>  
> 
> It is basically Rey and Kylo's life after he rescues her and she joins him.
> 
> It wouldn't have a regular time continuity and each chapter will basically be a scene from their life together.
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it!

 

* * *

 

Rey woke up in an empty bed. Hands searching her lover's side of the bed but he wasn't there. She got up on one of her elbows to turn and look behind her. The room was illuminated by the star light streaming through the viewport. He was standing there by the large floor to ceiling window. Legs parted, hands clasped behind, his back facing her and their bed.

 

The stars are moving but they are not in hyperspace. The destroyer is slowly orbiting the planetary system below. A blue green planet of mass population. Mostly people without consequence, simple traders, merchant and farmers. It's a First Order world. And they are currently restocking their supplies and changing personnel before jumping into hyperspace towards their destination.

 

“Kylo?” Rey croaked out, voice rough from sleep.

 

“Yes, love?” he said without turning back. The tense muscles of his back visibly relaxed a little, hands dropping on his sides.

 

“Why are you not in bed? What happened?” Rey said now fully sitting up on their bed.

 

“I feel a disturbance in the force. Like something is about to happen.” Kylo replied. Still facing the view port.

 

Rey pulled her legs out from under the covers, and placed them on the cold black floor of their quarters. Still sitting in bed, she placed her elbows on her knees and leaned forward.

 

“Is that good or bad?” she said, tracing her lips with her thumbs and looking up at his back.

 

“It depends on your definition of those words, sweetheart,” he said head slightly turned to one side.

 

Rey could see his sharp profile, shadowed by the star light coming from behind him through the viewport. He was beautiful even in the dim light and Rey wanted him back in her arms.

She got up and padded towards him stopping at an arm’s length away.

 

“What I meant was is it good or bad for us?” she reached out with her hand, placed them on his back, right between his shoulder blades. She felt him shiver a little and that filled her with pride. Even after all these years together, she still affected him like that.

 

“It's the weapon. They are charging it again. And you know the next target,” Kylo said, his breathing a bit rugged as Rey started to run her fingers lightly down his spine. She reached down to his tailbone and came back up again.

 

“Yes, I do know. Why? Do you regret it?” she stepped closer. Burying her face on his back, and reaching around to place one hand over his heart. Her body was now flushed against his. Her bare nipples, hard and brushing against the rough, scarred surface of his bare back.

 

She could feel his heart beating faster than usual.

 

“It will be the end of them, if the intel we've gathered is correct. The weapon will take out a whole planetary system and wipe out the last remnants of my mother's foolish rebellion,” Kylo whispered.

 

Rey’s other hand was tracing his chest. Moving down his muscular torso, over his belly, down to his rapidly hardening member. She runs her fingers over his length, teasing but not touching it properly.

 

“But I asked do you regret it, my love?” Rey whispered against his ears, standing on her tiptoes, breath hot against his skin. She placed a opened mouth kiss on his neck right below his ear as she wrapped her tiny hand around his hard cock.

 

Kylo’s heart was now beating very fast, almost as if it's trying to escape from its cage. Rey’s hand over his chest curled into claws, nails digging in his flesh.

 

Kylo turned his face toward her to look at her face over his shoulder. His eyes darkened as they met her yellow ones, filled with desire, like he would devour her if he could. Rey couldn't blame him, she felt the same, her fist tightened as she started moving it up and down his length, just the right amount of pressure that she knows he likes.

 

“No. I regret nothing,” Kylo managed to breathe out.

  
Rey leaned up, hand reaching behind his neck, fingers tightening in his hair. She brought her lips just a breath away from his soft pillowy ones. And said, “Good, because you made your choice already,” before claiming his lips in a hungry and passionate kiss.

* * *

 


	2. Focus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been three months since Kylo rescued her from the clutches of his uncle and brought her with him. Three months since she became his apprentice. Three months of rigorous training of both physical and mental abilities. She was growing strong, but she was distracted from putting all her focus into training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Chapter as promised.
> 
> But as I stated before each chapter would a be random scene/event from their life together. We would jump back and forth in time. 
> 
> This one is from the early days, when they were still adapting to their new circumstances.
> 
> Thanks again to my beta Nori <3

“Again!” Kylo bellowed, voice harsh and unforgiving even without the mask, as he dodged a large boulder she aimed at his head and he parried yet another blow from her practice electro staff.

 

Rey’s eyes flashed bright yellow as she clenched her teeth in frustration. The dark side was strong in her, but she lacked the discipline and training to harness and channel that power.

 

It had been three months since Kylo rescued her from the clutches of his uncle and brought her with him. Three months since she became his apprentice. Three months of rigorous training of both physical and mental abilities. She was growing strong, but she was distracted from putting all her focus into training.

 

Kylo tried to figure it out. Their connection grew stronger everyday as they spent more and more time together, training and improving. Yet she kept her shield up, something she’d learned to do on her own. So there was no other way for him to figure out what kept her distracted. He tried to ask but whenever he brought up the topic, she would refuse to answer or resort to violence. It was frustrating and extremely inconvenient.

 

“You are not concentrating, Rey. Focus!” Kylo commanded her. He brought his saber down one more time to hit her right shoulder that she kept unguarded. She was quick this time, bringing the upper half of her staff just in time to parry his blow. She used the bottom half to swipe hard against his right knee. The staff zapped him as soon as it touched his body. Kylo growled and pushed her with his saber, still locked on to the upper half of the staff.

 

“That was better, sweetheart” he managed to say before she attacked him again, this time with the force. She shoved him back against the durasteel wall before using her staff to hit the side of his head with an unforgiving force. He dropped his saber, and realized he couldn't move, as she held him against the wall with her power.

 

He knew he could break free, but that would probably infuriate her even more. She pressed her staff over his chest, putting the pressure of her body to it. She leaned in, her beautiful almond shaped eyes angry and wide. Her breath against his face, straight white teeth gritted. He was entranced by her gaze, dark eyes searching her bright yellow ones. He felt like his whole existence would unravel if he stared at them for too long.

 

“Don't you ever dare patronize me, Kylo Ren!” she spat each word out.

 

She pulled back, but as he felt the pressure of her hold leaving his body, she turned around hitting the side of his legs. Kylo was off his feet and on his back in one clean sweep of her staff.

 

“I think I've had enough training for a day, _master_.  I would like to retire back to my quarters now,” she informed him over her shoulder, before returning her staff to its holder with the force and walking out of the training room.

 

* * *

 

Kylo didn't know what to make of all that. She never called him master, though he knew she was being sarcastic, but she never really walked out of the training room without being dismissed either. Something was up with her and he needed to figure out what soon.

 

They didn't have much time. They had to get stronger, together. There were too many threats, people who would try to take his place, undermine him. They were bonded to each other which made them more powerful in the force than any of their adversaries.  Maybe even more than Supreme Leader Snoke. Rey was here with him because Snoke was letting him keep her. He needed to change that. He needed to make her stronger, make her an asset for the Order and among his knights so that no one ever questioned her position or dared to challenge her powers.

 

But he couldn't reach her. He tried everything he had learned from both his masters. She needed to open up to him. They have to strengthen the bond, so Snoke would never dare try to separate them or harm her. She needed to be able to stand on her own against the Supreme Leader and earn his respect. She was already so seeped in darkness and her yellow eyes made her presence by his side irrefutable. Now all he needed was to make her trust him completely.

 

He needed to find an answer so he got up from where she left him and went after her.

 

* * *

 

“Rey!” he called her as he banged on the door of her quarters. They were right beside his with a connecting door so they could enter each other's quarters without stepping into the corridors.

 

Kylo was getting frustrated now, “Rey, I command you to open the door or I will break in!”

 

The door slid open before he could bring his fist down again. Rey stood there, her arms crossed over her heaving chest. She was fuming, her hair down and dishevelled. The light from her background shadowed her features and made her eyes glow even more. She was a picture of beauty, and Kylo had never wanted anyone like he wanted her at that moment.

 

“As you wish, _master._ Come in,” she muttered under her breath before stepping aside for him to enter.

 

Kylo never asked her to call him master, but if he was honest, every time she called him that, he felt his blood rushing south. It was exciting to hear the word “master” from her lips, even if she was being sarcastic.

 

Kylo shook his head before turning around to face her. She shut the door and was standing with her back pressed against it.

 

“What's going on with you?” he stepped closer, hovering over her. He knew he needed to handle this calmly, but he was losing his patience.  Besides, he wasn't a very patient man to begin with.

 

“Nothing, there is nothing going on!” she said, looking up at him, eyes defiant,  refusing to cower under pressure.

 

“Is it about your friends? The Resistance?”  He couldn't keep the venom out of his voice. Jealousy coursed through him, making him act irrationally.

 

“Are you having second thoughts about joining me? Is that it? Do you want to leave me now?” he said, stepping even closer, their bodies almost touching.

 

“Where would you go, huh? They will never take you back.  Or have you forgotten that they’d locked you up? Hmm?” he leaned down, bringing his face closer to hers.  “That they are ones responsible for those eyes.”  His eyes searched her glowing yellow ones.

 

He felt her hands coming up his chest as she pushed him off of her. Rey moved aside, turning away from him, but Kylo had enough of her pushing him out and avoiding talking about this. He needed answers and he needed them now.

 

He placed his gloved hand on her shoulder and roughly turned her around.

 

“No, you are not walking away from this, not tonight,” he said, grabbing her arms tightly, pulling her towards him.

 

“Tell me what's wrong?” he asked again, shaking her slightly until she looked up, bringing her face closer to his.  Her eyes flitted down to his lips and back up again. Kylo saw her gulp and then run her little pink tongue over her lower lip, wetting it.

 

He didn't know what got into him, because before he could stop himself he was crushing his lips to hers, taking the wet lower one between his and sucking. Stars, he wanted to do this the first time he saw her in the woods of Takodana. He felt her opening her mouth as he pushed his tongue inside, exploring every corner of it. She was kissing him back, making him deepen the kiss as she moaned into his mouth. She bit into his lower lip and he swore she broke the skin, but he couldn't bring himself to care. She pulled back to take a breath, breaking him from his trance. Rey looked up, then she looked down at his hands, holding her arms.  The second he realized he was squeezing them a little too tightly, he let go. Stepping back from her, Kylo swallowed visibly, running his hands down his face. “I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that.”

 

In seconds, the healthy flush on her cheeks and the slight softening of her eyes were gone, replaced by an angry scowl. She grabbed hold of the training gear covering his chest and pulled him closer and snarled, “What?”

 

Kylo looked down at her, his hands covering hers on his chest, “That was very inappropriate. I shouldn't have done that. I came here to talk to you about your training. We need to improve your skills and practice with the bond…”

 

He was cut off mid sentence, when she started laughing hysterically. She let go of him and pulled her hands away.

 

“That's all this is for you then. Training me to make the perfect weapon for the Order. Am I just another knight for you? Huh? Either I'm a success or a failure, you will eventually move on to your next project. Because that's what I am to you, a project. You are no better than your family, who locked me up and tried to make me into something I'm not. I meant nothing to them just like I mean nothing to you” she paused, looking at him with accusations in her eyes.

 

“How could you even compare me with them? I went back for you, I felt your pain and I reached out to you, even after you rejected me and left me scarred and dying to go seek out my uncle. And I have never underestimated you! How can you say you mean nothing to me? We share a bond goddammit!  We are connected body and soul,” Kylo shouted back, hurt clear on his voice.

 

“So it is just the bond?” Rey said, turning her head to one side. One single teardrop escaped her eyes, rolling down her cheek, before she wiped it away. “If we hadn't formed this connection accidentally, I would still be locked up somewhere and no one would have come back to me, given me a choice.  I would have been forgotten,” she added, almost as if she was talking to herself.

 

She thinks he wouldn't have gone after her if it wasn't for the bond. He didn't even know they formed a link when he followed her down on Starkiller. They didn't form the bond when he first saw her on Takodana and all he wanted to do was have her in his arms. They didn't have the bond when he first heard of her, but felt her awakening. He was intrigued by his scavenger even before he laid his eyes on her. All he knew was he had to have her by his side. Even when she left him for dead, Kylo knew he would go to the end of the galaxy, destroying everything in his path to find her. Of course she wouldn't have been forgotten; the bond merely helped him locate her, but he had been looking for her ever since he got back on his feet after he recovered.

 

No, he couldn't let her think like that. She was not another one of his knights, especially since he had never personally trained them. He never had any interest in another being before her. And now, she'd become the center of his universe. Why?  He didn't want to dwell on that at the moment so he pushed it to the back of his mind just like he always did. He had to fix this, he had to make her understand.

 

So he opened his mind to her. Pulled her in so she could see. Know his intentions and feel his motivation. His utter devotion to her and her wellbeing. How he looked out for her, how he kept her safe. How he is concerned that people on both sides of this war would try to use her for their own agendas, be it for her power or her family legacy. He couldn't let her be vulnerable; she had to be stronger to protect herself and that's why he wanted her to train harder than ever. He never trusted anyone, and now more than ever, he fears he would lose her if he let his guard down.

 

He wanted her to see his sincerity, but ever the scavenger, Rey was not happy with just that. So she dug in deeper, let herself into the parts of his mind even Kylo didn't fully understand. She found him stealing glances when she wasn't looking, thinking about her when she wasn't there, staring at her back as she walked away from him, checking up on her if she fell asleep before he returned to their quarters, his hands moving of their own volition to touch her cheeks when she smiled at him, but refraining. And tracing her lips with his eyes whenever she spoke to him. The jealousy he felt every time he found someone staring at her as she walked by. The possessiveness he couldn't keep in check. It felt so good to have her in his head, but she was digging in too deep. He felt like Rey could undo everything he had built and make him into something new from scratch if he didn't put a stop to this.

 

Kylo pushed her out and took a few steps back. He found himself pressing his back against the wall. When he opened his eyes he found hers still closed. She slowly opened them and gazed at him.

 

“You feel so much…” Rey finally spoke and took a step forward.  Kylo raised one of his hands, gesturing for her to stop, so she did.

 

“Feelings are a distraction. We both need to focus,” he said, dragging his gaze away from her eyes. He needed to leave. He needed to process his thoughts, regroup.

 

Rey was about to say something but he cut her off. “I have to go now.”

 

“But..” she started.

 

“No Rey, we are not discussing this any further. You should get some sleep.”  Kylo hastily walked out of her quarters without a second glance.

 

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the UST. And the little training session. they are still coming into terms with their feelings.. And Kylo is fully committed to keep it strictly professional, but we all know the boy has no self control what-so-ever.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Comments help with motivation... lol.
> 
> Thanks for reading. :)
> 
> Find me on Tumblr if you wanna talk. :)  
> [@Shwtlee4Reylo](http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/)


	3. Connect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I dreamt of you every night,” he said, cupping her cheeks, “But I knew it wasn't you. I had my barriers up, it was just my mind trying to conjure you up,” his eyes searched hers, “I don't think I could ever get the all details right.”
> 
> “And what would I do in those dreams?” Rey asked, her hands clutching the back of his neck.
> 
> To that Kylo averted his eyes away from her stare and managed to look a little ashamed. Oh! Realization dawned to her and she couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy, which was ridiculous, because he was only imagining her.
> 
> “I see.” she chuckled, “it's okay, because I have been keeping myself entertained too.” She kissed his neck,
> 
> “What?” Kylo said, he had his hands on her waist, fingers digging in her flesh.
> 
> “Shhh.” she whispered in his ears, running her hands down his chest, “It's harmless, I just missed you a little too much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,
> 
> So here is another chapter. Smut ahead so be warned. This scene is not too long after scene 2 in their timeline.
> 
> This was originally posted on March 14th in my Tumblr blog. Poisting it again for my Ao3 readers. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

* * *

 

Rey felt him as soon as his shuttle docked onto the docking bay. She had been training with two other knights under the watchful eyes of Captain Phasma. Kylo insisted on having an escort when she went out of her quarters while he was away on a mission. Rey knew she could take care of herself but didn't object because she knew his concerns were not unjustified,  especially if she was training with the Knights.

 

She knew most of them resented her because she was better than them, and stronger in the Force than them. Rey also had their master's undivided attention. Kylo earned their respect and loyalty.  They would do anything to be his apprentice, including killing her or at least maiming her, if they needed to.

 

Rey was not afraid of them, quite the opposite actually. She would never miss an opportunity to show them their rightful place. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, because she had been doing just that most of her life. But, she wouldn't dismiss the Knights entirely. They were a conniving bunch. And it wasn't in Rey’s nature to underestimate her adversaries. On the contrary she actually respected them for it, because she would've done the same thing if she was in their shoes.

 

She took a sharp turn on the corridor, following after the captain, she ducked her head letting her hood hide her profile. Rey was heading back to her quarters when she felt someone was following her, they were close but maintaining a safe distance. Rey smirked to herself, _cowards_. She knew they were spying on her. She usually enjoyed this game of cat and mouse, it's something to do at least, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Not today, especially not now that she felt Kylo returning.  

 

She dug her hand in her pant pocket, touching the small paper note. Rey felt a kind of peace wash over her. That note had kept her going for the last month. He left it for her the morning he went away for his mission. Rey was surprised to find an actual note by her bedside table, no one writes on paper anymore, she only ever heard of such practice on holos about the history of the galaxy.

 

It was the morning after their first night together. And thanks to the Supreme Leader and his urgent mission that couldn't wait, they never got a chance to talk. He left her the note and promised her that they would talk and figure things out when he gets back. That gave Rey hope. They still kept their barriers up, keeping each other out from their respective minds. They still needed to learn to open up. It was going to be hard and would take time, because they both weren't the trusting kind.

 

Rey reached her quarters. The captain stepped aside, and gestured her in. She opened the doors and looked up at the other woman, pushing her hood back. The captain gave her a stiff nod.

 

“Thank you for accompanying me, Captain, but Lord Ren is back, and I won't be needing you to look after me. You can go back to your duties. I'm sorry for the inconvenience I must have cause.” Rey said with a little smile. She liked and respected the captain, and enjoyed her company but didn't want to keep her from her responsibilities.

 

“I'm just doing my assigned duty, Lady Rey.  You do not need to apologize for it.”  Phasma paused before continuing, “Lord Ren is back? I wasn't informed.” She pressed a button on the side of her helmet, surely to check the channels for information.

 

“He just docked, he is currently heading our way,” Rey said, looking past Phasma, staring at a distance.  She felt her face relax, his presence already putting her at ease.

 

Phasma turned her head to look over her shoulder, seeing no one there, she turned to face Rey once again.

 

“I should leave now. Have a good evening, my lady.” She gave her another curt nod and walked away.

 

Rey stood there for another moment before stepping into her quarters. She needed to freshen up, she had been training for hours. She contemplated on changing out of her Knights uniform, then decided against it. She loved the way Kylo looked at her when she had them on.

 

She would don the outfit when she trained with the other knights or on a strategic meeting with the First Order higher ups. It showed her position and set her apart from everyone else. Kylo presented her with it when she passed her first trial. It looked similar to his gear but with elements of Rey’s desert garb in it.

 

She wore a long sleeveless tunic over leather pants. The tunic reached mid calf and has two long slits on each sides, that reached up to her waist. The tunic had a wide hood, that can cover most of her face and stretchy high neck that can be pulled up to cover up to her nose. Her arms are covered by thick black leather strips that looked much like her beige desert arm wraps. She wore black leather boots that had metal tips, which can be deadly in a fight or helpful while scaling something. She had similar leather gloves as Kylo and wide belt around her waist where she kept her saber.  Another thing that set her apart from the other knights. None of them had their own lightsabers whereas Rey wielded the Skywalker family lightsaber. It had been passed down to every man in the family before it decided to choose her.

 

She pulled the gloves off as she felt Kylo entering his quarters. She could feel his exhaustion, mixed with anxiety, rolling off of him, from the other side of the wall. She decided to let him settle down a little before walking into his quarters.

 

Rey went to the fresher and splashed cold water on her face. She wet a washcloth and ran it over the back of her neck. She pulled the bottom two buns loose but left the top knot to keep her hair off her face. She ran her fingers through the loose waves. She looked at her face in the mirror for another moment, yellow eyes glowed back at her.  Rey ignored the urge to punch the mirror, she hated her unnatural eyes. But she needed to stay focused and couldn't give into her anger, not when she had an objective.

 

She stepped out of the fresher, pulled off her boots and set them aside. Bare feet resting on the cold black floor, she took a moment to enjoy the coolness. Rey took a long calming breath to center herself before walking up to the door connecting her quarters to his.

 

The door slid open. It was dark inside his living quarters. If she didn't have the force she probably would've thought he wasn't there. The outer rooms were dark and empty, as she walked by his bedroom she saw that it was empty as well. So she let the bond guide her. She followed his signature to a wall on the far left corner of the outer room, she knew there was a hidden chamber behind it. He would always go into that room when he felt conflicted. She imagined it was his meditation room.

 

She stood in front of the hidden door, looking at the camouflaged opening panel. To the untrained eyes it might look like just another part of the wall, but Rey had made a living out of finding imperial secret chambers. She raised her hand and was hovering her palm above the scanner. To her surprise it lit up and granted her access. She had known about the room ever since the first time she visited his room. Rey didn't know he had given her access to it.

 

The door swooshed open and Rey found a small dark room. There was a chair in the middle with the back of it facing the door. And there he was sitting with his head on his hands, elbows resting on his knees. Rey could only see the back of his head, his helmet was discarded and it was lying on the floor by the chair.

 

Rey felt his emotions rolling off of him, fear, anger, insecurity, doubt. He was exhausted but restlessness was keeping him up. She knew he felt her coming in but he didn't move. There was a mechanical noise as Rey approached him, she saw there was a short raised platform in front of the chair and it held something melted, like a mask, on top of it. The platform it was slowly moving down and by the time she was by his side the platform disappeared into the floor, a panel sliding over the compartment.

 

Kylo still had his face buried in his hands as Rey moved to stand in front of him. He didn't move but she felt the turmoil inside of him. She reached out and placed her hand on his head, fingers sinking into his soft raven hair. She heard him take sharp intake of breath, tilting his head, leaning into her touch. Encouraged by his response, Rey stepped even closer, putting her other hand on his face, slowly moving it under his chin and pulling his face up. He didn't resist, he looked up and met her gaze.

 

Rey felt her heart skip a beat, she had missed him so much. Kylo turned his face and placed a kiss on the inside of her palm. Bringing his hands up, he held both her hands.

 

“I'm sorry, I should've come to you right away,” Kylo told her as he brought both her hands to his lips and kissing them one by one.

 

“It's okay, I felt you, you needed to clear your head.” Rey smiled down at him.

 

“I'm sorry, I left without saying a word. I don't deserve your understanding. But _He_ insisted that I leave right away.” he paused, looking away, “I think he was trying to separate us.”

 

Rey felt her expression changed to a confused one, “Why? What makes you say that?”

 

“We opened up our minds to each other for the first time that night. It was a powerful phenomenon in the force. Snoke felt it. He felt us getting stronger. He sent me off on a wild goose chase as he took his time to understand it. I figured out his plan after the first week. The information about my uncle's location was incorrect. Nevertheless, I stayed and kept looking, but the trail went cold, so I returned. There was nothing to find there anyway and he couldn't keep me out for no reason,” Kylo informed her as he rubbed his thumbs on the inside her wrists.

 

He looked up at her face and pulled her closer, buried his face on her stomach. Rey wrapped her arms around him, cradling his head. He whispered against her belly, “I don't wanna leave you for that long ever again.”

 

She felt him kiss her over her clothes. That reminded her of her objective. She smiled to herself; she wanted to seduce him, like she ever needed to do that. Yet he needed comfort more than anything, and she was more than willing to provide it.

 

Rey held his face between her palms and pulling it up, he looked up at her with reverence in his gaze. She leaned down to capture his lips between hers. Kylo’s hand snuck up onto to her back pulling her closer. She nipped at his lower lips, ran her tongue along the seam. He opened his mouth for her and she pushed her tongue in to explore. He groaned into her mouth and that made Rey smirk against his lips.

 

She pulled back, much to his dismay, but his protest died on his lips because Rey climbed onto his lap, legs on either side of his hips, her butt resting on his thighs. She looked down at him and smiled.

 

“I missed you so much,” Rey said before kissing his cheeks, down his jaw to his neck, pulling on the fabric to expose the creamy white skin. He was wearing too many layers and she was getting impatient. She wanted to feel his bare skin under her palms.

 

Her hand traced down to his belt, pulling it loose. Kylo feeling her distress helped her take off his outer robe and the surcoat. He was left in his high neck sleeveless undershirt. Rey grab the neck, her eyes flashing and before he knew it, she tore open the shirt. Rey pushed the offending fabric down his shoulder, that left him only in his arm guards, straps holding across his chest. She pulled on the strap playfully and let it go, it hit his skin with a snap. She bit at her lower lips and smiled at him innocently.

 

Kylo groaned pulling her down and crashing his lips to hers. He wasn't gentle this time, all teeth and tongue. By the time he let go of her her lips were swollen and red.

 

“I dreamt of you every night,” he said, cupping her cheeks, “But I knew it wasn't you.  I had my barriers up, it was just my mind trying to conjure you up,” his eyes searched hers, “I don't think I could ever get the all details right.”

 

“And what would I do in those dreams?” Rey asked, her hands clutching the back of his neck.

 

To that Kylo averted his eyes away from her stare and managed to look a little ashamed. _Oh!_ Realization dawned to her and she couldn't help but feel a stab of jealousy, which was ridiculous, because he was only imagining her.

 

“I see.” she chuckled, “it's okay, because I have been keeping myself entertained too.” She kissed his neck,

 

“What?” Kylo said, he had his hands on her waist, fingers digging in her flesh.

 

“Shhh.” she whispered in his ears, running her hands down his chest, “It's harmless, I just missed you a little too much.” Her hand reached down to his cock, and she gave the rapidly hardening member a little squeeze.

 

She felt his breath catching on his throat, she bit his earlobes and moved onto sucking the skin below his ear.

 

Rey moved down to his neck leaving bruises on her wake, capturing his pulse point in her mouth. Kylo’s eyes rolled back. Rey felt his heart beating out of his chest, as she trailed kisses down his chest. Stopping at one of his nipples and giving it an experimental lick.

 

Kylo’s hands on her waist slacked a little as he started to move them up her sides, sliding under her tunic. Rey pulled away, rising up on her knees and helping him take her tunic off. He ran his hands up her torso, over her breast bindings as he pulled it down, revealing her perky breast. He pulled her down and closing his mouth around one of her rosy nipples.

 

Rey moaned arching her spine, eyes rolling back. She had been imagining his return for a month now, but her imagination faded in comparison when it came to actually having him with her.

 

She felt his hard on pressed against her butt, and experimentally rolled her pelvis once. Kylo growled against her chest.

 

She ran her fingers through his hair, before pulling him away. Rey saw annoyance flash in his eyes as she did that.

 

She climbed out of his lap, standing up on her feet in front of him. He reached out with his hand to pull her back, but she slapped his hand away.

 

He managed to look hurt and that made Rey shake her head. _So impatient._ She reached behind her and unhooked her breast wrapping, dropping it on the floor. She was standing there in her leather pants and her arm wraps, feet bare, toes curling in as she saw the hungry look on his face.

 

She traced her hand down her body, slowly, teasingly. Kylo swallowed visibly and his eyes followed her hands. She rest them over the lacing of her pants, playing with the strings.

 

Kylo looked up, eyes pleading, “Rey…”

 

She smirked and decided to have mercy on him. She pulled on the strings, unlacing them with quick fingers. She turned around and slowly pulled her pants downs, revealing her naked ass to his full view. She heard him groan as she step out of her pants, kicking them aside and walking back to him, his eyes following her every move.

 

Dropping on her knees in front of him, she started unlacing his pants, never taking her eyes off his. She saw his lips move, trying to say something but his words trailed off as she roughly pulled his pants down, nails scratching his skin as he hissed. He raised his torso, before she could do more damage and assist her as she pulled the rough fabric down his thighs. She stood up and started unwrapping her arm wraps. Kylo stopped her by pulling her hands away.

 

“Leave them on,” he said staring up at her, his eyes were so dark, his amber iris was nothing but a thin ring around his pupils. She looked down at her arms and back at him, a wicked smile playing on her lips.

 

“You like this, don't you?” she muttered under her breath as she grabbed the fastening of his arm guard and pulled herself back on his lap. Hands rubbed his cock between their bodies.

 

“Yes,” He croaked out, pinching his eyes as Rey increased her pace.  He was painfully hard beneath her.

 

She bought her lips close to his ear and whispered, “Tell me what you want, _master_. What can I do for you?”

 

An animalistic growl escaped his throat as he bucked against her hand, arm sneaking up her spine, grabbing her neck from behind and pulling her down to his lips.

 

“I want to be buried inside of you, fill your little pussy up with my cock, my apprentice. Would you like to ride master's cock, hm?” he gritted out against her lips.

 

She felt him pulling her hand away and positioning his cock at her entrance.

 

“Yes, oh stars yes,” she panted out as she felt him push her down on his cock. The tip stretched her pussy as her muscles expand to accommodate his sizable girth.

 

“Too big,” she gasped out, as the she sank down on him, feeling deliciously full, with equal amount of pain and pleasure. She expected it to hurt because this was only her second time, and first time being quite a while ago.

 

“Shh.”  Kylo pressed kisses on her temple and down the side of her face, trying to ease her discomfort, “It's okay.” His other hand was rubbing slow circles over her pelvis. She was wet and felt herself dripping around his member. Every movement sent her jolts of pleasure mixed with pain.

 

She finally opened her eyes to look down at him, his cheeks flushed red. Rey could tell he was making an effort not to move until she was ready. That made her smile.  She leaned down and pressed her lips on his, giving him a chaste kiss before nodding. She was ready.

 

He gave a shallow thrust that made Rey whimper.  Her wetness assisted him, but the friction was still too much. She bit down on her lips, and moaned as she felt him start to move in and out of her. Pain finally giving into pleasure. He was looking up at her with pure devotion in his eyes.  It made her heart feel too big for her chest.

 

She placed her hands on his shoulders, she was ready to take over.  Rey pushed up and slammed down with a little too much force. She looked at him to find he had his eyes pinched shut, muttering to himself. She started to move again and this time he helped her, his fingers digging in her waist as they moved together.

 

Kylo grunted and buried his face in the crook of her neck, sucking into her skin. Rey cradled his head, pressing her lips on his temple as she kept up her pace. She felt his hands sneaking down between them where they were joined. She looked down and was fascinated by the way they came together as one. How it felt to have him inside, brushing against her hidden spot every once in awhile, making her jump a little.

 

Kylo found her clit and started rubbing it with urgency. She felt her orgasm building as he continued to play with her nub.

 

He ducked his head and captured one of her nipples and sucked sloppily. Rey could barely concentrate on moving. Then she felt it, his walls dropping, his feelings, his arousal, all his emotions hitting her all at once. Too many sensation overloading her mind, she couldn't hold it back anymore.

 

She felt his mind brush against hers, _you can let go, sweetheart_. Her breath caught in her chest as she reached her peak, and a strangled cry escaped her lips. She arched back, thrusting her chest out for him to bury his face in, as he supported her weight by wrapping one of his arms around her back, bringing the other one up to place it behind her head.

 

Her pussy clenched around his cock deliciously, as he started moving again. Rey was still riding her orgasm when she opened her mind to his. The bond sang as they finally connected body and soul. Every emotion mixing together as one, she couldn't tell where she ended and he began. He could feel everything she was feeling, and her orgasm triggered his, as she felt him cum deep inside her, shouting her name.

 

They held each other as they came down from their high, breathing heavily, chests pressed against each other, heart beating in sync.

 

 _Are you okay? I needed that. Did I hurt you? I missed you so much._ Thoughts flitted through their connected minds. Rey couldn't tell them apart.

 

When he finally pulled away, he looked up at her, smoothing down her wild hair, kissing her sweetly on her lips, before meeting her eyes. There was a look of desperation mixed with determination when he spoke his next words.

 

“I'm not closing the bond again. From now on, wherever I go you are coming with me. And you are not going anywhere without me. I'm not gonna let them separate us,” he finished with a finality in his tone.

 

Rey smiled down at him, feeling him still inside her, joined in more ways than one, and no one could tear them apart now.  The galaxy would burn if they tried. She cupped his face in her palms, tracing the constellation scattered across his beautiful face, before kissing his forehead.  “I dare them to try,” she said with a smirk against his skin.

  


* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smut is kinda inspired by [@hotside](https://tmblr.co/mFAForvUvDKdKwmCYzTQ6TQ) beautiful art work [You are my guest](https://hotside.tumblr.com/post/157061038228/youre-my-guest).
> 
> Shout out to my lovely beta @ns0241 , she keeps me going, thanks Nori <3
> 
> Also thank you to my amazing readers. This story will explore Rey and Kylo’s life together, each scene will focus on an event from their life. Please let me know if you guys have any ideas or prompts that you want me to write about going forward. I have the story planned but i don't know what should I write first, the past how she ended up here or the future when they gradually rise to power? Also I really do need some fresh ideas.


	4. Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She felt his emotion through the bond, gratitude, lust, pride? Rey followed that thread to its source. What she saw made her blush again. He was in awe looking at her belly, swollen with his seeds.
> 
> His children, growing inside his tempest of a woman. He still couldn’t believe she was with him, let him touch her, make love to her. She was his goddess, and he wanted to worship her as such.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set in: 7 years after the events of TFA and 1 year after the first scene.
> 
> I decided to add time stamps to let you know where in their timeline we are. :)
> 
> Please read the updated tags.
> 
> Song for the chapter: [Entanglement by Imogen Heap](https://open.spotify.com/track/57fh50SS5Igc0u6LuHuZHN)

 

* * *

 

Rey woke up feeling hot and sweaty. The fabric of her nightgown sticking to her back and irritating her. A heavy hand was draped over her midsection, informing her of the source of the heat.

 

His chest was pressed against her back and his body felt like a furnace and all she wanted at that moment was to fling him off of her with her power. And that's exactly what she did.

 

Kylo’s back hit the nearest wall in a second as he was tossed across the room in one angry blast. It was unnecessary and uncalled for but she couldn't bring herself to care. Her powers have significantly grown with her.. condition.

 

Even though a voice in the back of her mind was screaming for being cruel to him when he was unaware and vulnerable in his sleep, she just chose to ignore it. It's his fault she was so uncomfortably warm in the middle of the night.

 

Kylo snarled, scrambling up to his feet, his body instantly on alarm from the unforeseen danger. He called his saber to his hand, igniting it and taking a defensive stance. He looked around to locate the source of danger before his eyes settled on her. He could clearly sense her aura, which was darker than usual and understood she was the source.

 

His eyes scanned her form, settling on her belly before coming up to meet her glowing eyes. Kylo exhaled, sheathing his saber blade and dropping it on the floor.

 

“Stars, Rey. What is it this time?” he padded towards the bed, knees sinking into the mattress as he moved closer to her. “Did you have a nightmare? Did _they_ have nightmares?” he said placing one of his large hands on her protruding belly.

 

Her eyes followed the movement of his hands then peered up to look at his face. A tender expression graced his face as he caressed her belly. Kylo’s eyes were soft and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

 

Her scowl relaxed as she felt the calm settling over him. His light siphoning the dark off slowly but surely and she felt herself relax basking in his light. When she first met him, he was the one dipped in dark and she was his blinding call to the light,  now their roles have reversed.

 

“No, I was just very hot,” Rey said, pulling at the fabric of the nightgown still sticking to her body.

 

“Hmm, the temperature is stable in the room, do you think you have a fever?” he said reaching out and placing his hand on her forehead. She rolled her eyes, ironic because they live in a castle inside a volcano.

 

Rey pulled away from his touch, “No I don’t think so.”

 

“Do you want me to draw you a bath?” he said brushing aside a lock of her hair and tucking it behind her ears.

 

Rey bit into her lower lip, looking at him… she figured out what was wrong. She wasn’t having a nightmare; oh it was nothing like that.

 

This time when he caressed her cheek, she leaned into the touch, turning her face and kissing his palm. She peered up at him, a coy smile playing at her lips.

 

Kylo furrowed his brow, confused.

 

“You can help me take this off first ” she said looking down at her gown.

 

He finally understood. And he was more than happy to do that.

 

Kylo reached down and clutched the soft fabric in his fist, bunching it up and swiftly pulling it over her head.

 

He helped her lie down on her back. It was a little difficult now that she was on her last trimester. And with the twins growing so fast, she felt twice as big as any other woman at her stage.

 

They had significantly lessened any sexual activity over the last few months because she felt cranky most of the time. But she felt his concern over the bond, and his worry. Twins run in his family and his grandmother died giving birth to twin babies. She knew he just wanted to make her as comfortable as he could.

 

Nevertheless, she didn’t need a bond to feel his sexual frustration. Contrary to other men in his situation, Lord Ren was quite taken by his beloved’s new pregnant form. Rey would find him looking at her body with such longing it made her blush just watching his expression.

 

“Are you sure?” he asked once she settled down on her back, naked except for the small black panties covering her mound. It was nothing like the sexy underthings she used to wear in the early days of their relationship. But the way he was tracing his thumb along the edge, it could have been the sexiest pair she had ever worn in his presence.

 

He braced himself on one of his elbows, hovering over lower body. He leaned down and nuzzle his face on the underside of her protruding belly before placing kisses up the side of her stomach. He looked up, eyes searching hers, asking if he should continue.

 

“Yes ” Rey gasped out, meeting his eyes with conviction. She felt too aroused at that moment to say more than that.

 

As soon as the words escaped her mouth Kylo had his fingers hooked into the bands of her underwear, pulling it down in one swift movement. He then spread her legs, folding one knee and moving between them, bringing his face closer to her glistening mound.

 

Rey took a sharp intake of breath when she felt his lips on her swollen pussy. She missed this feeling so much.  She cursed herself for not asking for this before. Rey blamed her pregnant brain for being so irritable all the time.

 

He was licking her folds earnestly, but Rey could only feel him thanks to her belly. She craned her neck up to get a glimpse of his raven haired head buried between her legs.

 

Her head flopped back onto the pillow as she squirmed under his attention. Rey could feel her orgasm building, and she arched her back as much as she could. She reached for his head, her fingers sinking in his silken hair, pulling at it slightly. She felt him groan and it reverberated against her core.

 

Focused on her feelings, Rey didn’t notice when Kylo threw her legs over his shoulders.  Rey turned her face on her pillow and muffled a screamed into it.

 

She felt his hand come up and grasp hers on one side, fingers interlacing. Her other hand tightened on his hair as she felt his tongue moving in and out of her cunt. He was using the tip of his nose to tease her nub, moving in pace with his tongue.

 

The stimulation was enough for her to finally lose control-- she came screaming his name, back arching up from the mattress.

 

When she came down from her high, she felt his hand on her lower back, slowly helping her bring it down as she settled back on the bed again.

 

Rey opened her eyes, and saw him looking right at her, his gaze almost black with want for her. His mouth and chin were wet with her juice.  

 

Rey reached out and touched his lips, smearing the liquid with her thumb. She grabbed his chin and pulled him up. Kylo crawled up to her, bracing himself on his hand and leaning down to meet her lips.

 

He kissed her deeply and passionately, his strong arms keeping his body hovering over her belly.

 

Rey wasn’t making it any easier for him and she knew it. Her hands wrapped around the back of his neck, pulling him closer, and deepening the kiss. He was always so careful with her but she wanted to feel him, his skin against hers.

 

Kylo pulled back, looking into her eyes, she knew he heard her thoughts through their open bond. He bumped his nose on hers.

 

“Tell me what you want?” he asked, his lips pressed against her cheek.

 

“I want to feel you, I want you-” she took a deep breath, “I want you inside me.”

 

Kylo pulled back instantly, pushing her on her side, settling behind her. He pulled her flush against his chest, one hand cradling her belly.

 

Rey closed her eyes, feeling his skin against her, leaning her back against his chest.

 

Kylo buried his face on her crook of her neck and shoulder, nibbling softly at the flesh. He pulled her knee back and hooked it over his thighs.

 

She felt his tip nudging at her entrance, still slick with arousal. He rubbing the engorged head along her slit, teasing her.

 

Rey hissed, turning her head, bared her teeth, yellow eyes flashing with warning. Kylo smirk down at her, ducking his head he placed an open mouth kiss on the corner of her lips.

 

He was in her in one hard push, buried to hilt, knocking the breath out of her. She clenched her eyes shut, her mouth falling open, just getting used to him inside her. _Had it really been that long?_ She thought counting back the weeks.

 

“Yes, my love, two months and 3 and half weeks,” he whispered in her ear, before taking her earlobe in his mouth and sucking on it.

 

He didn’t move, giving her time to adjust, but Rey had waited enough. She nudged her butt, signaling him to move, he was more than happy to comply.

 

He started with slow, deliberate pushes building force gradually. His hand ran up her side. He grabbed one of her tits, and weighed it in his palm.

 

“Is it me or these are bigger somehow?” his voice sounded strained, thick with arousal.

 

Rey found him staring at her breasts on more than one occasion, but he never asked the question.

 

“Yes, they are.  Your sons will be very hungry once they are here. My body is getting ready for their demand,” Rey quipped, her breath hitching with each thrust.

 

“Why does that sound strangely erotic to me?” he said, sounding out of breath.

 

Rey giggled as she turned to look at him. His face was flushed red but his lips were pulled into a smirk. She pulled his head down for a kiss. He started pushing harder. Kylo’s hand squeezed her soft mound and tweaked the long nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

 

Rey gasped into his mouth, pulling back she looked down. Her belly was jiggling with every thrust. She heard him groan and looked back to find his eyes locked on her belly.

 

 

She felt his emotion through the bond, _gratitude, lust, pride?_ Rey followed that thread to its source. What she saw made her blush again. He was in awe looking at her belly, swollen with his seeds.

 

His children, growing inside his tempest of a woman. He still couldn’t believe she was with him, let him touch her, make love to her. She was his goddess, and he wanted to worship her as such.

 

He was chanting her name in his mind, in a loop, and Rey couldn’t take it anymore. His love, his devotion for her, all for her, only for her. A tear escaped the corner of her eye and landed on arm he placed below her head.

 

Kylo looked up at her immediately, his hand coming up and cupping her jaw, pulling her face to look up at him.

 

“What happened, sweetheart?” He looked concerned, his thumbs brushed her tears away. He kissed the corner of her eye. “Tell me, please?”

 

“You.” She sniffled, “I love you, I love you so much.”

 

Kylo smiled down at her, “I love you more.”

 

They kissed again but this time it was unhurried and full of adoration, lacking the fervor that was there a moment ago.

 

Kylo traced his hand down, and started rubbing her clit, and just like that the kiss again became heated and passionate. His thrust became more powerful.

 

Rey moaned into his mouth, “Harder.”

 

He pulled back from her lips, hand hooking under her thigh, he started pumping harder. Rey brought her own hand to her mound, and started rubbing her clit in time with his thrusts.

 

She felt his orgasm peaking through the bond and, as always, it triggered hers. She screamed out again for the second time that night. Her cunt squeezed around his cock, she felt him stiffen behind her, fingers digging into the flesh of her thigh.  As he came, rope after rope of thick warm cum shot deep inside her.

 

He was panting against her neck, his hand now resting under her round belly, caressing it, as he caught his breath. Rey put her hand over his and they felt the baby's force signature humming strongly.

 

“They are sleeping,” Rey informed him, lovingly looking down at her stomach.

 

Kylo was about to say something, but her personal comlink started buzzing. He growled at the intrusion. Pulling away from Rey he punched the panel by the bed.

 

“WHAT?” He barked into it.

 

“My Lord, I have an urgent message for Lady Rey.”  It was one of her officers.

 

“I’m here, what is it?” Rey said, irritation creeping into her voice.

 

“It’s Admiral Phasma. Reporting from Destroyer Leviathan.”

 

“Okay, patch her through,” Rey said, sitting up and looking around for her dressing robe. Kylo was on his feet and by her side in a second, helping her stand up and pulling on her robe.

 

“My Lady.” Phasma’s voice came through the panel.

 

“Yes Admiral, what’s the news from Mandalore?”

 

“Not good my lady. They’ve taken out our full squad but spared Hux and sent him with a message.”

 

“What? It was a peace negotiation. What did the moron do this time?” Rey scowled at the panel.

 

“He mentioned your..Grandfather, My Lady.”

 

“Who, Palpatine? Mandalorians hated the Empire and Palpatine! Why would that idiot mention him?” Rey all but shouted at the panel.

 

“Rey, calm down, sweetheart. This is not good for your health.” Kylo said, as he started rubbing her back.

 

Rey pulled away from him. As Phasma started talking.

 

“Whatever the cause my lady, they are beyond reasoning right now. He might have insulted them too. They said if he doesn't leave their system within the next few hours, they will launch a full scale attack.”

 

“No,” Rey said tersely, “Pull our forces out for now. We have to work on damage control. And hold Hux for questioning-- as of now he is temporarily relieved of his duties.”

 

“As you wish, My Lady.”

 

“And Phasma, keep an eye on him,” Rey added, as she turned to Kylo, who was now sitting on the edge on the bed.

 

“Yes, Ma’am, I will keep you updated.” Phasma’s transmission went silent.

 

Rey walked back to where kylo was sitting.  She stood between his spread legs, placing her hands on his shoulders as he looked up at her.

 

“This is a mess, Kylo. I worked so hard to get us this opportunity. We need the Mandalorians on our side if we want to spread to the Outer Rim territory. I should've have handled it better.   Mandalorians are proud people. And this idiot ruined it for us.” She sounded bitter.

 

“Hmm. I should have gone instead.” Kylo placed his hands on her waist, thumb rubbing her sides.

 

“Mandalorian’s hate Vader more than Palpatine, my love. I’d not risk sending you there,” she said, climbing onto his lap, resting her head on his shoulder.

 

“We will figure something out.” Kylo sighed, “Besides, we are not our grandfathers.”

 

Rey looked up and kissed his jaw, before placing her hand over his on her belly, “No, no, we are not.”

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mandalorians are very proud people. Hux should've known better.
> 
> So it was mainly a pregnancy smut, but I wanted to show his devotion to his Pregnant wife.
> 
> Yes Rey is basically the one Running the First Order atm, no Snoke isn't dead, but she takes order from no one.
> 
> She is too powerful, partially because of the bond, and more so now because of the babies growing inside her.
> 
> Ben at this point is mostly light.
> 
> Hence 
> 
> ** BALANCE**  
> We'd know more about how we came to this point :)


	5. Forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was in the cell. She was locked up. Lost. Forgotten. No one will come for her. She can't get out. She gave up long ago. She was abandoned once again.
> 
> Her family left her. She went on a journey to find a new family. They betrayed her as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry haven't updated in almost a year. 
> 
> Reminder it's a fic not written in sequence. Hence we'd jump back and forth in there time line. This is at the very beginning. Started writing this back in May 2017 but never got around to finish or post.
> 
> Also remember this is canon divergent fic.

 

* * *

 

 

She was running. Fighting from the force coming after her. The nightmare was recurring. And Rey knew she was sleeping, dreaming, the same dream she had been having for days. Weeks. Or was it months?

 

She was in the cell. She was locked up. Lost. Forgotten. No one will come for her. She can't get out. She gave up long ago. She was abandoned once again.

 

Her family left her. She went on a journey to find a new family. They betrayed her as well.

 

She woke up panting. Shivering. Reaching out for the thread that was reaching back. But she pulled away. No.

 

She looked from side to side. Her heart was exploding. The cuffs were digging into her wrist. It was cruel. But she knew it was necessary. She deserved it. She deserved to be chained. She deserved to be abandoned.

 

She was a danger to other people. She remembered the day that sealed her fate. The battle. The explosions. The blood. So much blood. And Luke Skywalker. The passive Jedi who refused to help her, and left her untrained. But she was glad that she at least brought him back to the resistance. To his sister.

 

Although he acted passive and aloof. And his distrust towards her was obvious. She could sense it, feel it through the Force.

 

But then he refused to be of more help, letting people die. The people who believed in him. Thought of him as their messiah. She snapped.

 

A transport was leaving D’Qar with people and a walker was coming toward the ship before it could take off. Rey on the ground screamed for Luke to help; he acted like it was out of his hand.

 

So Rey channeled the power that was hidden inside her. It was to save people. It was for a good purpose. When she pulled the legs from under the walker with the Force, she felt more than just power. It was raw. It was liberating. It was exhilarating.

 

She got carried away. She felt this immense power coursing through her body. She screamed and raised her hand, gathering the Force around the war machine and crushing the walker. It ended up exploding and taking the transport ship with it. When it was done, Rey wasn't immune to the pain that she and her careless use of power caused. So many lives, so many innocent lives. Crushed. By her own hands.

 

She looked around to find Luke and the other resistance fighters looking at her with fear and disgust. Rey took the step forward but they all cowered back. Except for Luke. He looked at her like he expected that of her. She could feel the loathing. He looked at her like she was the monster.

 

Then all guns started pointing at her. Even those who fought with her.

 

“Luke-" she took a step forward. Luke raised his arm and Rey saw black.

 

She woke up in this cell. Left here in utter solitude. At first she screamed, tried to take the panels down, tried to escape. Then it turned into rage to self harm. But it died down to passivity now. She no longer got excited about the food hatch, thinking of ways to disable it.

 

Since she was left here, she hadn't even been visited by a droid. But she could feel their presence. Life force surrounding her. Her powers were great but she was left with nothing to utilize them. Her muscles have degraded due to lack of usage. She had lived on bare minimums but managed to keep her body sharp with hard labor. Here she had nothing to do but sit around.

 

Rey was slowly losing her mind. She knew she wasn't on a planet-- rather on a prison inside a ship.

 

She wondered if Finn ever tried to free her. She also remembered the fear in his eyes at the battle. Fear of her power and what she might be capable of.

 

But that's all in the past. She had been angry. At her parents, at her so called friends, at the cause. The rage had turned into desolation and Rey contemplated suicide.

 

Her scavenger nature had made her appreciate the food that was provided. Wasting it would go against everything she had become. Which might not account for much, but that's who she built herself to be. And no one can take that away from her.

 

But every night when she scratched the line on, old habits, she contemplated on killing herself and being done with all this.

 

At night when she had her guard down, the presence seeped into her mind. Reaching out to her, but she resisted.

 

Tonight she just felt like giving up. There was nothing left in her. She dug the line deeper and held the handmade knife firmly to its place.

 

She felt the blood streaming down her palms in small lines. It was a slow but steady flow. As the cut wasn't deep enough, it would take longer for her to bleed out. She weighed on opening up a few more barely healed lines, but they weren't deep enough either.

 

Rey came to the conclusion she'd have to be the instrument of her own death. And it would be a slow process. She just had to stop the blood from clotting.

 

After a while she felt herself slipping into a daze. And this time when the presence beckoned, she answered. She reached back.

 

It was warm and cold at the same time. She was floating. She was a white mist with a black core. And there was dark mist but the darkness was only on the edge. She felt herself melting into the darkness. And she transcended into something more.

 

She didn't remember how long she was just floating and getting lost in her dark mist. Rey only knew she was complete for the first time in her life.

 

And last thing she saw was a flash of black, crouched down in front of her, a pair of furious brown eyes, and a face that turned pale with terror. She lost consciousness.

 

* * *

 

She reached out. Kylo kept repeating that to himself. But his fear and anger were on hyperdrive. She remained long enough for him to locate her, but by the time he physically found her it might be too late.

 

Kylo had been searching her for months, ever since he recovered from his injuries. He got to know about the incident in D’Qar. Watched the footage from his ground troops present there during the battle.

 

Later he got the news from their Resistance spies that they, the Skywalkers, had captured and imprisoned Rey.

 

He just didn't know where. He tried to reach out to her every night through the link they shared. Some nights she'd reach back. Although every time she reverted back to herself before he could locate her.

 

But tonight when she did that he felt strong emotions from her end. It was extreme hopelessness and detachment. She'd given up. When their Force presence touched and he felt whole for the first time in his life. But she felt all wrong. Broken and defeated. And he saw blood.

 

She kept the connection open long enough for Kylo to set course.

 

By the time he reached the space prison, he could barely feel her. She was fading so fast.

 

He almost tore the station down but they were cooperative. They were willing to let the first order knight. Seemingly aware of his wrath tendencies of destruction. He didn't have the patience to let them open the door. He wrenched the heavy metal door off its hinges. He stepped in, no one dared to follow.

 

It was extremely hot inside, and he was appalled by the windowless metal confinement they had locked her in.

 

He found her on the floor, a trail of blood leading to her arm. Kylo got on his knees in front of her, assessing the slashed wrist. When he pushed the sleeve down, he felt bile rising to his throat. There were series of thin slashes, evenly spaced, almost ritualistically, starting from her wrist to her elbow. It reminded him of the marks he witnessed on her wall when he looked into her head.

 

Kylo choked back a sob. He felt her move, but barely. Her half lidded eyes met his and they weren't the bright hazel he remembered. They were glowing yellow.

 

* * *

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reason behind Her yellow eyes. Again rey isn't a sith. Those eyes are due to extreme use if dark side of the force. #notasith 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts or if you want more
> 
> **P.S. so many of you asked me about the eyes so here is a little lore meta:
> 
> So in star wars lores Sith eyes are :
> 
> The result of degradation of the body. Due to using the dark side of the force. When you use the force in rage and anger(dark side) you channel strength from you own life force. It's self destructive. For example a true master of dark side is Palpatine aka Darth Sidious. His yellow eyes, pale skin and dark fingernails are clear signs of someone who has used dark side extensively for a long periods of time.
> 
> Also remember the inquisitors? They had yellow eyes but they weren't sith. 
> 
> Extreme use of darkside or prectice of darkside of force to a point one sacrifices parts of themselves: Might make skin pale, disfigure features, or turn eyes yellow.
> 
> Now rey did it in that extreme moment. Also remember she is half Palpatine. Lol.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, this was basically a tumblr drabble. But this is just the beginning, sorry the next scene is not the continuation of this one. But don't worry, smut is coming.
> 
> If you like it Please leave a comment. Comments help.
> 
> I have two more scene written already, but the release of the new trailer prompted me to post it on AO3. I'm really excited about writing more.
> 
> Shout out to my Beta @ns0241 <3
> 
> My tumblr: [@Shwtlee4Reylo](http://shwtlee4reylo.tumblr.com/). Come and say hi!


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